Lilac Wine - Jeff Buckley

I lost myself on a cool damp night

I gave myself in that misty light

Was hypnotized by a strange delight

Under a lilac tree

I made wine from the lilac tree

Put my heart in its recipe

It makes me see what I want to see

and be what I want to be

When I think more than I want to think

I do things I never should do

I drink much more than I ought to drink

Because it brings me back you.



Lilac wine is sweet and heady, like my love

Lilac wine, I feel unsteady, like my love

Listen to me... I cannot see clearly

Isn't that she coming to me nearly here?

Lilac wine is sweet and heady, where's my love?

Lilac wine, I feel unsteady, where's my love?

Listen to me, why is everything so hazy?

Isn't that she, or am I just going crazy, dear?

Lilac Wine, I feel unready for my love,

feel unready for my love.

I've never been so heartbroken.

I left my boyfriend. I left my home. I left my new home. I left my dog.

And now he's left me.

I can't bear to think of the dead quiet that lingers around our house in Pickering.

It is such a deafening silence, something that is impossible to ignore. Its not real until I go home.

I will find no comfort anywhere. He was everything good and pure. Not innocent, but rather warm hearted and truly kind.


My parents are a mess.

My brother is a mess.

I'm shattered.

Everyone just wants to be loved. Whether you're a dog, or a person, you're a someone. And lots of someones make up everyone.

Big P is curled up on my lap. He never stays in cuddle position, unless he's with me.

Everyone just wants to be loved.

Oh, the things I used to be.

I used to be a good girl. I was a someone who cared. Probably more than most people. Even still, I am a natural born mother. I like to care for something.

Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever change, you and me. I kind of hope not. But that's pretty selfish of me. The way I see it, we'll be like this always. I say this because I don't really see how it can be reversed, unless we just decide to not share anything with each other anymore.

Wouldn't that make you sad? It would make me really sad. I feel like I still one you one hell of an apology. I don't know if I'll ever feel like the "I'm sorry" that fell out of my mouth fixed anything, and I don't know if you'll ever feel like you really forgive me.

Regardless of what you may think floats through my mind, I really don't waste my time, energy and inner-most thoughts of people who lack depth. This is probably attributed to the fact that my heart is fragile, despite what I say. And I know that you would NEVER waste your time on any girl (most girls) unless something really captured your attention. For some reason, it happens to be a girl who is impatient, indecisive, not very nice and can't cook to save her life.

But she loves you a whole lot.

I can't be with you.

But I'm always here for you.

Jamie

When the schnecken bekons, one must get blackout drunk.

I love you Ebbbbbbbbs.

Hey remember that time

Hey remember that time we got so high we couldn't stop laughing for an hour?

Hey remember that time we danced all night at Junior Boys?

Hey remember that time we watched Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia the entire day?


Hey remember that time you actually drove to pick me up in your car?

Hey remember that time I got so drunk and passed out on the floor of the James Joyce?

Hey remember that same time you carried me all the way home?

Hey remember that time when I drank so much blackout juice I couldn't even look at your kitchen?

I'm so excited to move in. You have no idea. Or maybe you do. I talk about it enough. But I'm so excited. I think we'll have some really amazing times. And I bet you I''ll cry like a baby when we move away.

I'm not as cold as I seem.

You're the worst kind.

You, sir have issues. Karma works, I know that much for sure and I feel as if yours hasn't been balanced out in quite some time.

Honestly Zoltan, I kind of despise you. You became incredibly selfish and unfeeling. You hurt someone twice without a second thought, and then blamed me for reacting to that? Really? Really really? Lets use our brains here, thats a bit silly seeing as YOU were the one who decided to be a giant asshole. Here's to hoping that I really never have to hear from you again.

This whole thing was SO ridiculous, and SO stupid that I don't even miss it because I am completely enraged with your self perscribed life lessons. Fuck you, get over it. No matter what, you'll always be an impatient and petulant child. You made Christopher look like a model boyfriend.

Oy. Don't come around any more.

Aside from all that, it is a (somewhat) beautiful thursday morning and I am listening to The Shins! I'm in an obnoxiously good mood considering. I guess it wasn't all that great anyways haha. He never laughed. Not only that, he never took the time to become a child again and play. He was a big brother to Bennett, but never a child himself.

I love being able to have a ridiculously good time by simply trying to remember not to take life so seriously. I don't ever want to grow up and I'm happy with that:)