Crawled out of the sea

One day, you're going to have to fight me, and you're going to lose.

I was thinking about relationships today and how they make us feel a plethora of different things. For many, its a craze. All logic goes out the window when infatuation is involved. And this absolute insanity is left. Its not all bad really, but its like you don't know what to do with it. You feel too much. I remember it so well with Christopher, and for so long, I felt like it was just me. Like we weren't on the same page.

But when it came right down to the bitter end, we were the same. Crazy.

Both of us, equally at fault. I hated and loved him just as he hated and loved me. We pushed it away when it was broken because it was undeniably unbearable. We didn't know everything about each other, but we knew the bottom line. It still makes us shaky. It makes me feel better coming to terms with that now I guess. We might meet for drinks in a couple weeks. Its weird, I couldn't stand not being with him before, and now I'm fine with staying away. I have no urge to contact him.

This is a comparison, and I don't give a fuck if it doesn't make sense to anyone but me.

I need to remove myself from the girl I am with LW. She's like a sister that I never had. I hate and love her. She's selfless, and selfish. I'm glad I have her back though, she really does care. She cared about Christopher. And now she cares about LW.

I want to make him frustrated, I want to make him hurt. I want to make him a less selfish person. Its mean I guess, but its true. And yes its illogical, and yes I'm a bitch, but I don't care. It drives me nuts that he can just do whatever he wants and I have to sit here and stew. Like some dried out Mr.Noodles. How pathetic.

On the other hand, everything is amazing. But I can't forget what it says between the lines. I've tried. I'm really tired of swallowing things. I'm fed up.

Its time for a break, its time to clear my head.