I've been avoiding this.

I felt like I had too many things to say. But now I know EXACTLY what I want to say. This has probably been the strangest and most trying two months of willpower. I feel like some would argue. Whatever.

I had a ton of things happen that I didn't want to happen. People talking, animosity between friends, skeletons in closets, the truth. I tried to leave. I tried to leave so many times. At least three. I never used to be like that. I felt like it was too much trouble. Also, I am confident in the fact that I'm not completely obnoxious in my requests, having known what its like to be a needy girl for some time. But that all ended almost a year ago. And here I am, in 2010, saying, this is what I need, and if that can't happen, if that doesn't work for you, then cool, lets drop it. I really feel like I'm too special to be on the backburner. And I think every girl should feel that way.

Its unfortunate, but I have little faith in the opposite sex when it comes to relationships. Thats probably why its so easy for me to say "alright, I'm done." But I was shown that wasn't always the best solution. That hurts people. Its hard for everyone to admit they're wrong, and especially for me. Even though I felt justified in having a "Fuck it, and fuck you" attitude, its true, you should try and aim for somewhere in the middle.

I hate when people ask about me and Armour. Oooooh names. I hate it though. Ask later, ask in a couple months. I do talk about it, but to those I feel close to. And I try not to shove it in anyone's face. So here's the truth. I feel like the dust is starting to settle, everything is still a little weird, but somehow we made it. I'm pretty damn surprised. But happy. Really happy. Its been the most ridiculous two months, and only two months, which in the great scheme of things, is not very much at all. But its been fun, we've both learned things, pushed each other, tried to understand. Actually understood. Not only that, got balls deep in feelings for each other, and other people, and admitted to it.

There was so much noone saw, and I was reminded of that when I was in bed yesterday, bored out of my gourd and decided to go through the pictures on my phone. There were so many things that made me go "wow, that was a really fun day." There are so many. I wasn't expecting it. It helped me come to terms with the fact that forgiveness is just as important as saying you're sorry.

So, thank you. Nothing lasts forever, and I never look at it that way anyway, but that doesn't mean it wasn't meaningful.

I'm back in this cold cluttered room that has a habit of eating my possessions, back in this really tiny bed with one deflated pillow and a comforter that looks like it died last summer, back beside the hairiest person I know, and a really good friend.

This picture was taken in the middle of a sword fight. With one sword. It turned into a "lets see whose hair can stand up higher" competition. I love it.

Goodnight moon.