Insomnia's a bitch. Then again, so are most things.

Bah.  It is late!  Not really.  Its actually only 1am on this warm, balmy saturday morning.

I need a vacation.

I think thats why I watch so many movies over and over again.  It takes me far enough away from conciousness that for a moment (moment sounds more poetic than 'hour and a half') I am completely unaware of...well...being aware.  Nice writing.  Ten gold stars for me.

Anyway, its like I don't want to have a tight grasp on reality.  My subconcious self wants (not needs) to steer clear from the real world as that everyone else seems to survive in as often as possible.

I really hate to admit this, but I think I'm the one who seriously fucks up my relationships.  I am so many things and yet, much too simple.  I like to know things.  Okay, I like to know everything.  Even some things that aren't ready to be known yet.  I push and I pull, striving for the truth, when really I just end up cornering people into an irritated and exasperated state.  And then I think I have the right to get all huffy and sad when I don't like what I hear them say.  I need to learn when to put a cork in it I think.  But I really don't mean anyone this harm!  I just want someone who I can care for, someone who WANTS me to care for them. Plus, I'm embarrassingly self centered.  If you've noticed, I sure say 'I' a lot.  Yucky.

I think Jake is coming home, must run.